So since I last checked in with the Infertility stuff last week, I went back to the doctor and got more news. Ryan came with me on Sunday to meet my doctor at the office. He was so great to meet us there when it was his day off. He needed to do another ultrasound to check if my follicle containing my eggs had grown anymore in the next couple days.
Unfortunately they hadn't. My follicles were all super tiny still, and even though I have tons of eggs, none were big enough for me to respond well to the HCG injection I was hoping to get.
Since I have so many eggs, but they don't mature, he diagnosed me with PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome). He said that with the next round of fertility medications he'd like to almost double the dose and hope that it would stimulate my ovaries more to get a better growth of the follicles.
After the past 7 months being on fertility medications, and going in for blood work labs, and consults, and ultrasounds, feeling like I live at the doctors office/pharmacy, and that my life revolves around the schedules THEY give me...I've decided to take a break. I need the time to myself, to focus on something else, and to stop putting so much pressure on my body when I have no control over the result, no matter how much time and money I spend thinking about it.
I am hoping that in the next couple months I will feel rejuvenated and ready to start up again with a more positive attitude, but for now, I'm drained of all these emotions that come with fertility treatments, and I need a little break.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
Infertility
I've debated writing about this for a long time, but recently I've had a lot of new things going on, and I really wanted to get them written down so that I could have them for my own future reference. Also, recently I've had a lot of people ask me things like, "Are you going to have more kids?" and "When are you having another?" I wish the answers to these questions were easier for me to answer than they are...I never know how much detail to go into with people on the subject before I scare them off and they don't know what to say....I don't want anyone to feel like that! So if you want to know details about my infertility process, read on! (If not, scroll down to other blog posts with cute pictures :)
A little bit of background: One of the factors I have to go around while dealing with pregnancies is that fact that I have amenorrhea. Amenorrhea is the absence of a menstrual cycle. Every girl that I tell about this problem is always so jealous that I don't have a period....honestly, it is nice, UNTIL you want to get pregnant, then it poses quite a problem.
When I got pregnant with Easton, I had to go on Clomid after 10 months of no luck on our own. This was before I knew about amenorrhea, and each of those ten months, I would think, "this is it, I must be pregnant since I'm not having a period." Once I went into the doctor, he prescribed Provera and Clomid. (Provera is a 10-day medication which forces a period cycle to start.) Once you start your cycle, you start taking the Clomid for 5 days, on day 3-7. I was really lucky with Easton, because it only took one round of 50 mg of Clomid to get pregnant. I thought, "Great! Now when I want another kid, I'll just go to the doctor, get another prescription of Clomid, and it will work and be easy and perfect"....I was wrong.
Now fast forward to last July (2012). Once Easton turned one, we thought, we could start trying for another baby, we were going to wait until the fall, but figured why not start now, they could be close in age and be best friends! So I went into my doctor, got the Provera, and 50 mg Clomid prescribed. I thought I'd be pregnant in August, and due in May. I went in at the end of the cycle for my blood work to be done. (My doctor here checks your progesterone levels while on Clomid therapy. Progesterone levels should ideally be around 10-15 to get pregnant.) I don't remember exactly what my number was after this first round, but I know it was lower that they'd like, maybe a 5?
Well, that cycle came and went....pregnancy test came back negative. I was shocked! I thought it was crazy, and for sure it would work the next time.
Next cycle, again the Provera and 50 mg Clomid....my progesterone levels came back lower than the first time, which of course resulted in another negative pregnancy test.
Third cycle of Provera and this time 100 mg Clomid (this made me super hopeful)....my progesterone levels came back low again, and another negative pregnancy test.
Fourth cycle, Provera and 150 mg Clomid....progesterone levels came back less that 0.5%! Horrible! And I was on a triple dose! I was so confused and frustrated and annoyed.
Finally, instead of starting another cycle of Clomid, I decided to schedule a consult with my doctor to find out what was going on, and what else I could do. Miraculously, 3 days before my appointment, I started my cycle on my own, NO PROVERA! Crazy! That is only the second time I've started my period on my own without medicinal help. So, I was super excited to go in, talk to the doctor, and have the timing right for starting he next round of fertility treatments.
After going over all my past numbers and test results, Dr. Swainston gave me a couple options to go forward with. He had mentioned that it seemed my body was becoming more and more desensitized to Clomid, and it wouldn't really be worth the time or money to continue on that route. So we decided on a treatment which goes the injection route vs the pill route.
So, right now, I'm in the middle of doing Follistim injections. These injections are what a lot of women do when they plan to do IUI. We won't be doing IUI though because of the high cost. The follistim helps the eggs in your ovaries grow, and once they are grown, they give an HCG injection which cause the follicle, that holds the eggs, to burst and descend and be ready for fertilization. You go in for blood tests to check your estrogen levels, and want the levels to be up around 100 before you get the HCG injection.
So, Ryan gives me the injections each night. I went in Sunday for my first blood test, those estrogen level results came back and they were at 53. So I went in again on Wednesday, those results came back at 96. That brings us to today...(phew!)
Today, I went in for an ultrasound to measure my follicles. The follicles should ideally be around 2 cm each before they like to give the HCG injection. I had 4 follicles, one was measured at 0.9 cm, and three others were at 0.8 cm. Geez! Dr. Swainston commented that I have very stubborn ovaries...I agree! Since the follicles aren't really big enough yet, he didn't do the HCG injection today. So tonight Ryan will give my my last follistim injection, and then we will meet Dr. Swainston back at the office on Sunday morning to have another ultrasound to check the growth of the follicles. We are hoping they are nice and big and ready for the HCG injection by then!
So,that's me in a nutshell I guess. Congratulations if you made it through all of that and followed thr details the whole time. (You can now understand why I needed it all written down to remember it now right?)
So, even though I am not pregnant, and I am learning a lot about myself, and I am being taught that value of patience every day. It seems like everyone I know is getting pregnant, or just recently had a baby, so while I have been feeling alone in this process, I know I'm not. Sooo many women deal with fertility problems, and I don't know why it has become an awkward and unspoken-of subject since so many people are affected by it.
I guess, if anything, I just want people to know that I AM ok. I AM happy for others when they are able to get pregnant. I DO understand that in the long run, no matter what Dr. Swainston and Ryan and I do, it's not really in our hands, or in our timing. Going through all of this is definitely the most emotional process I've ever been through. It brings up feelings of jealousy, confusion, and frustration...but it also make me feel incredibly grateful for the things that I do have, and I am so grateful that I have my perfect little son Easton. I can't imagine how much harder this would be if I hadn't already had a child. He is my saving grace, and brings me comfort and peace to know that if I was able to have him, I am fine.
A little bit of background: One of the factors I have to go around while dealing with pregnancies is that fact that I have amenorrhea. Amenorrhea is the absence of a menstrual cycle. Every girl that I tell about this problem is always so jealous that I don't have a period....honestly, it is nice, UNTIL you want to get pregnant, then it poses quite a problem.
When I got pregnant with Easton, I had to go on Clomid after 10 months of no luck on our own. This was before I knew about amenorrhea, and each of those ten months, I would think, "this is it, I must be pregnant since I'm not having a period." Once I went into the doctor, he prescribed Provera and Clomid. (Provera is a 10-day medication which forces a period cycle to start.) Once you start your cycle, you start taking the Clomid for 5 days, on day 3-7. I was really lucky with Easton, because it only took one round of 50 mg of Clomid to get pregnant. I thought, "Great! Now when I want another kid, I'll just go to the doctor, get another prescription of Clomid, and it will work and be easy and perfect"....I was wrong.
Now fast forward to last July (2012). Once Easton turned one, we thought, we could start trying for another baby, we were going to wait until the fall, but figured why not start now, they could be close in age and be best friends! So I went into my doctor, got the Provera, and 50 mg Clomid prescribed. I thought I'd be pregnant in August, and due in May. I went in at the end of the cycle for my blood work to be done. (My doctor here checks your progesterone levels while on Clomid therapy. Progesterone levels should ideally be around 10-15 to get pregnant.) I don't remember exactly what my number was after this first round, but I know it was lower that they'd like, maybe a 5?
Well, that cycle came and went....pregnancy test came back negative. I was shocked! I thought it was crazy, and for sure it would work the next time.
Next cycle, again the Provera and 50 mg Clomid....my progesterone levels came back lower than the first time, which of course resulted in another negative pregnancy test.
Third cycle of Provera and this time 100 mg Clomid (this made me super hopeful)....my progesterone levels came back low again, and another negative pregnancy test.
Fourth cycle, Provera and 150 mg Clomid....progesterone levels came back less that 0.5%! Horrible! And I was on a triple dose! I was so confused and frustrated and annoyed.
Finally, instead of starting another cycle of Clomid, I decided to schedule a consult with my doctor to find out what was going on, and what else I could do. Miraculously, 3 days before my appointment, I started my cycle on my own, NO PROVERA! Crazy! That is only the second time I've started my period on my own without medicinal help. So, I was super excited to go in, talk to the doctor, and have the timing right for starting he next round of fertility treatments.
After going over all my past numbers and test results, Dr. Swainston gave me a couple options to go forward with. He had mentioned that it seemed my body was becoming more and more desensitized to Clomid, and it wouldn't really be worth the time or money to continue on that route. So we decided on a treatment which goes the injection route vs the pill route.
So, right now, I'm in the middle of doing Follistim injections. These injections are what a lot of women do when they plan to do IUI. We won't be doing IUI though because of the high cost. The follistim helps the eggs in your ovaries grow, and once they are grown, they give an HCG injection which cause the follicle, that holds the eggs, to burst and descend and be ready for fertilization. You go in for blood tests to check your estrogen levels, and want the levels to be up around 100 before you get the HCG injection.
So, Ryan gives me the injections each night. I went in Sunday for my first blood test, those estrogen level results came back and they were at 53. So I went in again on Wednesday, those results came back at 96. That brings us to today...(phew!)
Today, I went in for an ultrasound to measure my follicles. The follicles should ideally be around 2 cm each before they like to give the HCG injection. I had 4 follicles, one was measured at 0.9 cm, and three others were at 0.8 cm. Geez! Dr. Swainston commented that I have very stubborn ovaries...I agree! Since the follicles aren't really big enough yet, he didn't do the HCG injection today. So tonight Ryan will give my my last follistim injection, and then we will meet Dr. Swainston back at the office on Sunday morning to have another ultrasound to check the growth of the follicles. We are hoping they are nice and big and ready for the HCG injection by then!
So,that's me in a nutshell I guess. Congratulations if you made it through all of that and followed thr details the whole time. (You can now understand why I needed it all written down to remember it now right?)
So, even though I am not pregnant, and I am learning a lot about myself, and I am being taught that value of patience every day. It seems like everyone I know is getting pregnant, or just recently had a baby, so while I have been feeling alone in this process, I know I'm not. Sooo many women deal with fertility problems, and I don't know why it has become an awkward and unspoken-of subject since so many people are affected by it.
I guess, if anything, I just want people to know that I AM ok. I AM happy for others when they are able to get pregnant. I DO understand that in the long run, no matter what Dr. Swainston and Ryan and I do, it's not really in our hands, or in our timing. Going through all of this is definitely the most emotional process I've ever been through. It brings up feelings of jealousy, confusion, and frustration...but it also make me feel incredibly grateful for the things that I do have, and I am so grateful that I have my perfect little son Easton. I can't imagine how much harder this would be if I hadn't already had a child. He is my saving grace, and brings me comfort and peace to know that if I was able to have him, I am fine.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
cupboards
So I know I already posted about the kitchen cupboard remodel, but my friend Tosha took some professional photos of them, and the bathrooms remodeled as well, and they are too gorgeous not to share again! She made it look like I live in a magazine. And thanks again to my amazing sister in law Kristin and her hubby for all their work redoing them, check out her latest projects at Navy Bean Lane.
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| Kitchen |
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| Basement Half Bathroom |
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| Laundry Room |
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| Basement Half Bathroom |
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| Laundry Room |
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| Upstairs Full Bathroom |
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| Upstairs Full Bathroom |
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| Master Bathroom |
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| Kitchen |
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| Kitchen |
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| Kitchen |
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| Kitchen |
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| Kitchen. Love that you can see the wood grain, glaze, paint and hardware colors and details so well in this one. |
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| Kitchen |
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| Kitchen |
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| Basement Half Bathroom |
18 months.
This little boy is 18 months today! He is such a good kid and is learning more every day! I can't believe how smart he is, and how quick of a learner he is. We love him so much, he is the best thing that has ever happened to us!
- weighs: 30.8 lb (90%-95%)
- height: 34 inches (90%-95%)
- head circumference: 49 3/4 cm. (90%-95%)
- He is SO good at basketball, his hoop is about 8-9 inches taller than him, and he knows how to stand back, shoot free throws, he hides around the corner, then peeks around to take a shot, he shoots left handed, and has a great little flick follow-through...I'm not kidding, it's super impressive to watch him! He even will stand in a drawer full of books to shoot, and still makes it!
- Hello - "haro"
- Uh oh - uh oh
- Easton - "eh stah"
- please - "peass"
- nods yes and no
- He has started to love going to other people
- He helps clean up by putting toys into his baskets, drawers, bins, etc.
- Loves his bath, still. Splashes like crazy!
- Gives hugs and will lay his head on your shoulder.
- Gives great kisses, when you ask him for one, or when you tell him that you love him.
- walks up and down the stairs like an adult, one foot at a time while holding the wall or railing.
- HATES the doctors office and check ups. He was fine in the waiting room, but as soon as we got to the exam room, he stopped walking and screamed and cried, pretty much until we left...didn't even get shots this time!
Friday, January 4, 2013
NEW YEARS 2013
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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| So many fun things in 2012, we are lucky! |
You'd think that we would have had awesome New Years plans since we were in Las Vegas, but we were about as lame as it got! Just the way we like it though! We spent the day running errands, then had a normal night at home, we watched shows until midnight, then busted open the Martinelli's, watched the festivities from downtown on TV, watched their fireworks show from the strip for just a minute. Then hurried up to bed since we were exhausted! We are definitely not night-time people.
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| Easton at Niketown, with the NFL. |
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| loved the aquarium in the Forum Shops |
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| Nike Factory Outlet, Easton loved the mirrors on the floor. |
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| Our fancy way of ringing in the New Year |
Hopefully this year is filled with as many great memories as 2012, we have a few plans in store, and hope that they all go to plan, Ryan will be a few months from graduation at the end of 2013, and Easton will be another year older. Can't believe how fast time flies by, but I am grateful for the moment I am in right now. I'm right where I want to be, and wouldn't change a thing!
Christmas 2012
Christmas this year was very fun filled, and packed with lots of family and friends! Ryan finished up his finals on Thursday the 20th in the afternoon. That night we headed to our neighbor's party for a fun white elephant exchange! We finished packing that night after Easton went to bed, and headed out first thing the next morning. We drove ALLL day long. Easton was GREAT on the way up, he watched tons of movies, mostly Mickey Mouse, I think Ryan and I had our ears ringing by the time we finally got to Logan. On the the way up, we stopped to see our friends the Davis' in Lehi and their gorgeous new little baby girl Kate, she is 3 weeks old, and I can't get enough of her! She is so perfect!
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| Packed up, and he has both Toby's...he was ready! |
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| Sleeping finally for only about an hour. |
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| Gorgeous Kate! |
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| welcome to Logan, with all the fun deer running around the yard. |
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| Easton helping Papa eat |
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| E and the Tree |
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| kids were SO excited to open their gifts! |
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| Grandma and Grandpa spoiled them! |
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| Look how excited he is about Christmas gifts...he had no idea what was going on! |
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| "Dad, what are we doing??" |
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| OK, now he likes it! |
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| yum!! One of my favorite parts of Christmas! |
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| Boxes were of course his favorite part :) |
Christmas morning came, and Santa found Easton! He brought him a great gift, a big blow up Spiderman ball pit, he LOOOVED it! Played in it all morning while Grandma made us her traditional Christmas morning rollers (crepes). One of our favorite breakfasts. After breakfast, we split up all the gifts for everyone to open, Grandma Doyle is very loved cause she had the most and had to open 2 on each turn, haha! Easton got some great toys this year, a Mickey Mouse, USU basketball shorts, a T-ball set, new Nikes, ornaments, some wooden Melissa and Doug toys, and a fun kicking giraffe toy. Ryan got a bunch of gift cards, to go towards a new iPad, golf certificates, new Nike shorts and tee. I was spoiled and got new clothes, a fruit basket, and a Silhouette cutting machine!
After gifts, we got Easton down for a nap, got ready for the day, packed up the car, and then headed down to North Ogden with my family. We got there a few hours before the rest of my siblings, so we put Easton down to rest a little longer before the commotion started up, and caught up with my parents. Once everyone showed up, it was a giant party, with everyone opening gifts, it was so much fun, we again were super spoiled by my family! Easton got lots of new toys, a couple tool sets, a word board, a new quilt, games, some clothes. Ryan got more gift cards for the iPad, we got a nice wet/dry vacuum. I got gift cards, clothes, the new Our Best Bites Savoring the Seasons cookbook, a nice new dutch oven, and tons more, I can't remember everything, but I do know we were so blessed and are so grateful to have family and friends who love us so much.
My mom made a yummy Christmas ham dinner, with cheesy potatoes, it was SOOO yummy! We played games that night all night until around midnight, it was a perfect Christmas day!
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| Loved It Santa! |
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| Happy Boy! |
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| all the Christmas commotion, Easton seems worried. |
Easton played and played in the snow each day, and helped Ryan and my dad shovel each morning.
My birthday was on Thursday, the 27th. My parents got me a gorgeous new scarf, and had taken me to Wicked back in September. Ryan got me an 80-minute massage certificate, and also tickets to see the new movie Les Miserables that night. We went to lunch with a bunch of family! I was so excited to see so many people that we'd missed at the Christmas Eve party. There was us, my parents, grandparents, Michelle and Jeanette, my Aunt Jill, cousins Nick and Christian and his cute wife Sam. I don't know why I didn't get any pictures at lunch cause it was so much fun with everyone. We went to my favorite restaurant in Ogden, Roosters. That night,my parents watched Easton for us, and Ryan and I went to Costa Vida for dinner (my other favorite Utah restaurant) killed some time by watching the Flowrider and iFly people next door, then headed over the the theater for the movie. I loved the movie....but I shouldn't have had a Diet Coke with dinner, and another 44 oz. of it with popcorn during the 2 hour 45 minute movie! It was super long, and I probably would have liked it more if it were shorter, but like I said, it was awesome still.
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| Broadbent party, all of Grandma and Grandpa's things were there to split up between the gandkids and to keep as momentos. I took some doilies, and made a table runner out of them, also a pretty table cloth with matching napkins, a gorgeous afgan, and a baby blanket for Easton and my future kids. |
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| Savannah, Jacob and Jack at the party |
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| Broadbent Family Party, everyone that was there. |
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| helping dad shovel. |
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| He loves snow! |
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| hey mom! |
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| mad that he couldn't pick up his ball with mittens on. |
Saturday, I was feeling a lot better, still a little weak, but we decided to brave the trip home anyway. This was probably one the most miserable drives home, since I wasn't feeling my best (and I'm easily made car-sick anyway) and Easton didn't sleep...at all....UNTIL Mesquite! We even gave him a little Benedryl and it didn't kick in until then! That kid is the worst car sleeper ever. We made it home anyway, and were glad to sleep in our own bed again and get back to our regular routine the next day!
It was such a great Holiday vacation, we love our families so much. We miss them so much, and just wish all of them would move to Las Vegas so we could have them here in the place we love so much!
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